Emotional affairs can be more damaging to a relationship then an affair that involved pure sexual lust or a one night stand. The fact that the heart and deep emotions were involved often strikes the person who has been cheated on much harder than knowing the spouse just fell in bed beside someone once or a couple times. So, is it possible to actually save a marriage after an emotional affair has taken place?
The problem is not so much the affair, but the "emotional" part. Affairs of the body happen every day and many marriages recover from that shock much easier than most would expect. Yet, when one person has a real intimate connection with someone other than their spouse it is much harder to set aside and move on.
The first part of the journey lies with the spouse who actually had the affair. They must do some serious introspection to determine where their feelings truly lie. Is their heart still with this other person, or are their emotions for their spouse more intense? The emotions connected to the affair must be completely put out or at least seriously dampened if the marriage is to have a fighting chance.
If the connection of the affair has been broken, then the journey shifts focus to the other spouse.
Once the spouse that cheated has clearly stated that they want to save the marriage and are invested fully in doing so, it is up to the other spouse to open their heart and mind to that happening. They have every right to their own emotions, but in order for the union to survive they must be open to allowing trust to rebuild and new bonds to form within the couple.
Things will likely never be "normal" again after an emotional affair. Yet, if both people are actively working toward the future together then a new normalcy and an even stronger sense of happiness can come about in time. It will just require a period of time where both people work toward reconnecting, rebuilding a strong sense of trust, and becoming closer together again.
In order to save a marriage after an emotional affair open-hearted communication will be essential. Bitter arguments or throwing dishes is not helpful, but really talking so that everyone feels heard and validated will lead to action that can genuinely heal both people in time.
The problem is not so much the affair, but the "emotional" part. Affairs of the body happen every day and many marriages recover from that shock much easier than most would expect. Yet, when one person has a real intimate connection with someone other than their spouse it is much harder to set aside and move on.
The first part of the journey lies with the spouse who actually had the affair. They must do some serious introspection to determine where their feelings truly lie. Is their heart still with this other person, or are their emotions for their spouse more intense? The emotions connected to the affair must be completely put out or at least seriously dampened if the marriage is to have a fighting chance.
If the connection of the affair has been broken, then the journey shifts focus to the other spouse.
Once the spouse that cheated has clearly stated that they want to save the marriage and are invested fully in doing so, it is up to the other spouse to open their heart and mind to that happening. They have every right to their own emotions, but in order for the union to survive they must be open to allowing trust to rebuild and new bonds to form within the couple.
Things will likely never be "normal" again after an emotional affair. Yet, if both people are actively working toward the future together then a new normalcy and an even stronger sense of happiness can come about in time. It will just require a period of time where both people work toward reconnecting, rebuilding a strong sense of trust, and becoming closer together again.
In order to save a marriage after an emotional affair open-hearted communication will be essential. Bitter arguments or throwing dishes is not helpful, but really talking so that everyone feels heard and validated will lead to action that can genuinely heal both people in time.
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